Lord of the beetles
by Kerfy
Summary: my first submitted fanfic, a parody/crossover of lord of the flies,halo, george bush, ed,edd,n eddy, aqua teen hungerforce, maplestory, and lord of the rings. enjoy! warning- extremely random.


**An unofficial Parody of Lord of the Flies By William Golding**

**Okay, my very first fanfic/parody. I did this for an assignment at school but it was just so funny…**

**Just an explanation, arcadia is a fictional maplestory character I created for a series of fanfics IN maplestory.**

On a crispy summer day on the planet Ziagen (inside the human colony), a group of oddball morons were preparing for their vacation.

"Alright, role call!" The Arbitor yelled."Arcadia?"

"I packed the food!" Arcadia called.

"Great. Prez?"

"I updated the digimap, son." George Bush stated.

"Don't call me 'son'. Chief?"

"Last-resort assault rifles and energy swords are ready and accounted for." Master Chief saluted.

"Excellent. Gandolf?"

" Our hotel rooms are reserved."Gandolf said.

"(this is taking to long.) Ed?"

"I got gas! Oh, and so does the Phantom." Ed laughed. So did everyone else.

"Good, good. (I think) And Meatwad, I hope you?…"

"Yep, I took a shower." Meatwad said.

" Alright, to Caltodan we go!"

All the group ran to the Phantom. The Arbitor took the controls, being the only one knowing how, and Master Chief tried to put his "songs to drive bus drivers crazy" cd into the stereo, only to have his head nearly blown off by 4 rounds from a plasma rifle (fired by noneother then a very iritated Arbitor).

"Alright, let's go!" Everyone cried.

"prez, where are we?" The Arbitor asked.

"Well, according to this map, take a right when you see the left side of Gamma Halo."

"Good, there's Gamma Halo now, or, at least, what's left of it." Chief stated.

The Phantom flew farther towards the giant, destroyed ring. Master Chief tried to put his "songs to drive bus drivers crazy" cd into the stereo, only to have his head nearly blown off by 4 rounds from a plasma rifle (fired by noneother then a very iritated Arbitor). (Wow, deja'vu.)

In the confusion, The Arbitor accidently forget to grab the controls!

"Hey! Look out!" Arcadia yelled.

"Grab the wheel!" Gandolf screamed. To late! The Phantom flew head-long into the fragment of Gamma halo, And hurtled down to the Ring's Life-support area.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled, well, EVERYONE!

**BOOM! **The phantom crashed on the surface of Gamma Halo's desserted Island Area.

"Where are we?" Ed asked.

"Um, hello? Earth to Ed?" Master Chief said,"did you not read the last paragraph?"

"Dot…dot…dot…"

Then, everyone started yelling at each other for no good reason. The Arbitor stepped away from the commotion, and climbed onto a large boulder sitting conveniently nearby. He picked up a conch shell and tried to blow it. Unfortunatly, his stangely-shaped alien lips prevented him from blowing it, so he through it at Meatwad instead. Then, the Arbitor yelled out.

"HHHHHHEEEEEYYYYYYYY!" Everyone shut up. "Listen up. We're obviosly on an uninhabited part of Gamma Halo. Since it's just us, we should have some sort of order. I think I should be leader." He grabbed a nearby Energy sword and raised it in the air. "Who's with me?"

"I veto that idea." George stated with an air of superiority. Perhaps _too much _air.

"Shut up Bush, noone cares what you think here! You ain't president anymore!"

"I still am important, and have the most experience."

"RRRROOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!"The Arbitor charged at Bush and cut him down with the sword.

"Dude! You just killed the President!" Master Chief exclaimed.

"Eh, noone liked him anyway. I did your race a favor. Noone will miss him." The Arbitor said.

"True, true." Master Chief agreed.

"Anyway, we should go exploring. See what we can find. We may find some old shipyard for escape or native creature for food."

"A good idea, indeed." Gandolf said.

" Alright, so, Arcadia, Gandolf, Come with me."

Meanwhile, an unknown evil was watching at them from the shadows, hoping that he would find something to eat instead of these disgusting flood.

As the ragtag group of people walked through the forest, they walked. And walked. And walked. And walked some more. In fact, they got so annoyed of walking they stopped.

And, in another part of the Galaxy, something of absolutely no story significance happened. Don't worry, though. I'm not gonna bother you with the details. If you wanted to Know about it, TO BAD! I AIN'T TELLIN' YOU! So get over it.

Anyway, after a while, they got bored of sitting. So they walked again. Then, they got trough the forest and found a mountain. So, they climbed it. When they got to the top, they found something amazing.

"Oh." Arcadia said.

"My" Gandolf gazed.

"flipping" The Arbitor stated.

"GOD!" They all said.

There in front of them stood six tons of purple heaven. On the top of the mountain stood a Phantom! It was in perfect shape, and still warm to the touch. It seems that it had landed here only a few hours ago.

"Wow!" The Arbitor exclaimed. "This thing's in perfect shape! It's still warm to the touch. It must of landed here only a few hours ago. I can think of a few ways we could use this."

"Hey, me too!" Arcadia stated. He walked over to it, raised his arm, muttered a few things, and the whole ship caught on fire.

"There! Now we have a signal fire!"

Everyone else looked angrily at him.

At that very same time, an angry spectator was watching them calmly from the shadows. He noticed it was late and walked off towards a clearing he knew oh to well.

Once he made it there, he drew in breath and held it for a supernatural amount of time. Then, he sung very loud and _very_ bad. At the sound of the poorly sung song, thounsands of pesky insects swarmed in.

"Excellent," The beast said. "Tommorow we strike!"

A little later on, the three guys showed up and everyone started talking at once.

"Did you find food?" Meatwad asked.

"Did you find something to hunt?"Master Chief said expectantly

"Did you find a ship?" Ed asked.

"Yes, we found a ship." Gandolf sighed.

"Only genious over there burned it." The Arbitor stated flatly.

"It was an honest mistake!" Arcadia cried. He had been standing off to the side, so Meatwad, Ed, and Master Chief jumped. "I thought we needed a signal."

"Well, we don't." Gandolf said. "All we need is to get off this _machine._"

"Well, while we're here, we might as well hunt for food. We may find some pigs to kill and eat." Master Chief said.

"I'm Jewish, you jerk!" Gandolf cried furiosly.

"Sucks to your jewishism." Master Chief snapped.

"Well, we might as well find something to eat. I haven't eaten in days." Meatwad said.

"We've only been here a few hours!" The Arbitor cried surprisedly.

"Yeah, I know. I'm still hungry, though."

"Yeah, me too." Ed agreed.

Everybody turned at looked at Meatwad.

"What?"

"Wow, who knew chemically processed, rejected, toxic meat could taste so good when you're starving!" The Arbitor said.

"Tell me about it. However, it wasn't so good of a thrill when we weren't hunting." Master Chief agreed as he walked over to the fire they had made and turned the stick attached to a huge, spherical wad of familiar-looking meat.

"It still, is good, though."Gandolf stated. "At least it's not pork!" The old wizard through a nasty look at Master Chief, and took another bite of the food before saying, "Good idea using your helmet as a magnifying point to start the fire, though, Master Chief."

"No problem. I think we should hunt more," Master Chief said."This could last a while, but not long enough. We still might be able to find some species of alien-"

"Don't say it!" Gandolf snapped.

"We don't need to hunt, Chief," The Arbitor stated. "This meat will last us long enough to be rescued. Hunting is pointless."

"Oh, what do you know?!" Master Chief yelled. "I say we vote for a new leader for the tribe. I'll be that leader! Under me, we'd have fun, hunt, and have feasts all the time. I'd be way better than The Arbitor. Who's with me?"

"Who said we were a tribe?" Gandolf asked.

"Shut up! Anyway, who votes for me as leader?"

Nobody raised there hand. The Chief grunted and stormed off, heading for the forest. Right before he was in there, he turned around and , sounding furios, yelled out.

"FINE! All make my own tribe. Anyone who wants to come, go ahead!"

Again, noone responded. He ran into the forest and tripped over some creepers.

"Well, we should get some sleep." The Arbitor said, noticing it was dark. " We should be able to sleep in the wrecked phantom. Off to bed. NOW!" he commanded. Everyone listened.

The next morning, absolutely nothing happened. Seriously, _nothing happened at all!_ Eventually, they decided to go up to the mountain and see if the Phantom was still flyable.

So the ragtag group of people walked through the forest. They walked. And walked. And walked. And walked some more. In fact, they got so annoyed of walking they stopped.

Then, Master Chief apeered in front of them with amazing news.

"Hey guys! Guess what? I found some alien pigs! I cooked them up and I'm having a feast! If you want to, come to _my_ tribe and eat so much freaky alien pork you'll explode!"

"I told you, I'm jewish!" Gandolf screamed.

"Sucks to your jewishism." Master Chief snapped. (deja'vu _again_!)

Suddenly, a huge thud was heard from the forest. Then, out poured thousands and thousands (and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands) of _beetles_, and behind them was a gigantic beetle, humongous in size, and very, very big!

"Behold, you fools! I've waited for a long time, about 32 hours, for some good food! Now, you will become my next banquet!" The fairly oversized beetle boomed, "for _I_, am the **Lord of the Beetles**!"

Master Chief cried out in fear, "AHHHHHHHHH! Giant bug!" He ran into the forest in fear.

"Uhhh, anyway, I will now kill you untill you die from it!" The very, very big bug cried.

"Wait a minute!" Arcadia said. "Something about that voice is familiar…"

Arcadia walked over to the large insect and grabbed it under the mouth. He grunted a bit, and flung the bug's shell over the mountain. Underneath it was something far more annoying than any bug.

"muahahahahahahaha! So, you have dicovered my secret. I am the lord of the beetles!" Michael Jackson cried out.

"Run!" The Arbitor yelled.

Nobody needed reminding. They ran and ran , untill they found a bridge. They all crossed it, the most evil thing in the world following close behind. Then, Gandolf went back.

"Go on," he said. "I'll finish him. Save yourselves!" They all listened to him. He turned around and faced Jackson

"Ha! Foolish Hebrew! You cannot defeat me!"

" Can't I?" Gandolf pulled out his staff, lifted it up high in the air, and screamed.

"You shall not pass!" Gandolf screamed. Then, he hit Michael Jackson in the head with it, pulled out an AK-47, and gunned Jackson down.

"Come on, let's go!" Gandolf said. They continued running untill they found a terrifying sight.

Master Chief was waiting for them, sitting in the driver's seat of an LAAV, aka a warthog.

"You,ll pay for not letting me hunt, Arbitor!" He screamed. He began driving towards The Arbitor, determined to run him down

"Oh, come on," The Arbitor said. "Back off to the side, everyone!" He commanded, and they did so. The Arbitor prepared himself, and right when the Warthog was in front of him, he did something noone saw coming.

He jumped over it!

Master Chief turned his head in time to see The Arbitor land on the ground. "what the?" he cried, and turned back around, to see he was abount to fall off the cliff!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed. Unable to prevent the fall, he plunged into the river.

"Well, that was weird." Ed said.

"Where were we?" The Arbitor asked. "Oh, yeah! He walked to the still-flyable Phantom and called out.

"Let's go home!" He said.

Ed, Gandolf, Arcadia, and The Arbitor walked to the Phantom and flew silently back to the human colony on Ziaden.

The End

(I think)

**Please Review!!**


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